A Christmas Wish

The thing about life is that it isn't fair (cliche of all cliches, I know). What no one ever tells you, though, is that it can be very fair for some people, just not to you and that is what makes it so unfair. In fact, often life is unfairly fair, as it were, to the certain people that shouldn't get any fair treatment. It's really not fair.

I've been thinking about my friend lately. She is musically talented, funny and beautiful. She is a mom and she is single. I wish that it were just hearsay, the fact that there are single moms out there, but it isn't. There are many. I can so easily complain about the work involved at being a mom, the lack of sleep, the constant interruptions, the diapers, the feeding, the relentless repetitive motherly tasks. But then I think of my friend and I feel, quite honestly, like a wimp. Single moms just don't get enough props for all that they do.

In the last couple of weeks my cheeks have become very familiar with the many silent tears my eyes seem to so easily shed. I go about my day when it will occur to me how it would be sad to do this mother thing alone. I've been struck with the little things (which are not little, really) like, no one to pick up milk on the way home, or change the dirty diaper when you don't feel like it, no one to nudge in the middle of the night to get your crying baby, no one to bring the groceries in. When your baby does something ridiculously cute that you're convinced no other baby in the whole world has ever done and your chest fills up with pride, there is no one to look over to and share that moment with. There is no adult to get really mad at and remind you that behind your sleepy eyes you're still alive and full of passion. There is no one take out the trash and balance the checkbook or surprise you with flowers just because. There is no one to say that you look sexy when you're still dressed in pajamas at 5 in the afternoon, or to hug you tight and say that you're a great mom even after you served only buttered noodles for dinner. There is no other adult voice except your own echo down the hall. It's just not fair.

My friend's circumstances are not of her own making and honestly, I wouldn't care if they were. The life of every mom is meant to be shared with someone that loves you back, stretch marks and all. In a "fair world" both the gloriously happy moments where you had no idea such joy could be felt at once and the moments that you're certain that you will indeed pull out each strand of hair from your head alike, all of it is meant to be shared. That would be beautiful and fair.

This Christmas, my friend, if I could, I would take all the unfair moments of your life and make them fair. I would put them in a lovely candy-striped box and tie a beautiful red bow around it. The card would say that I think you are a beautiful woman and an amazing mom.

If I could, I would.