A Conversation with a Little Happy

A couple of weeks ago...

"Mom, you wanna de-cansar (rest) wis (with) me?" Her hands were eagerly clasped together trying to contain the excitement of a great idea.

"Sure, meu amor."

"We could snuggle in your bed on the fluffy pillows if you want."

"Lets!"

We climbed into my unmade messy bed and Penélope eagerly adjusted all things fluffy and comfy around us. She laid down on her side, head up and chin resting on her hand. Then she said,

"Let's conversar (talk). Um, what you like?" (I just love how her questions are asked just like in Portuguese, an affirmative with a question mark.)

"I like the sky, I like yellow..." I answered.

I asked her the same. We talked for a little while then she asked,

"Why you love me, Mom?"

My heart felt a little squeeze. I wondered if I had not been affirming something in her that she felt the need to ask me why I loved her. All the million of reasons came swirling around me, but I wondered what she needed to hear.

"I love you because you're my favorite present that God ever gave me. I love that you are kind and thoughtful. I love that you get silly and that you dance. I love you more than anything else. I love you just the way you are..."

As I talked about why I loved her I could tell that her whole being was soaking it in. I hoped I had expressed what her little 3 1/2 year old needed to hear.

There is something powerful about verbalizing an emotion, a specific thought. I'd like to think my actions show Penélope that I love her and that all the kisses and hugs I give her tell her that I really like her a lot. But speaking it out is the other important piece of feeling completely loved by someone, I think. All of our senses need it. Even though I tell Penélope that I love her several times a day, I think she needed some specifics. Not just, "do you love me?" I think she knew that. But rather, "why do you love me?"

It's true that mere kind loving words mean nothing if it's never put into action. But I wonder sometimes if those that we love the most need more specifics at times. Maybe that helps validate their specific individuality. When Penelope is older and when she inevitably goes through those moments of self doubt I want her to be able to fall back on some specifics. The unique things that her mom saw in her that are priceless. It's something I'm definitely need to work on.

This morning...

Penélope wanted to "snuggle," she said, in my lap while I ate breakfast. She asked me, "why you love me, Mom?" Before I could answer, she said with a huge smile plastered on her face, "Porque Deus fez me assim!" (Because this is how God made me!)